I actually managed to load  the bootloader on to the 1284pu. and that was half the problem. all the bootloaders and tutorial are made for the 1284p-pu. so after almost 3 weeks of failing miserably at trying to upload the firmware I figured out that I need to change the chips ID or something in the fuse section of the bootloader. 

in the struggle to get the bootloader loaded I purchased a AVR MKII programmer to eliminate problems that might occur while setting up an arduino as  isp programmer. 

with that said and done the avrstudio that came with the programmer made the uploading of the bootloader a breeze. 

now that I have flashed the bootloader and the firmware I can start with the configuration of the stepper drivers, software etc.